{"id":102,"date":"2021-02-25T23:14:59","date_gmt":"2021-02-25T23:14:59","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/wendirank.com\/?p=102"},"modified":"2021-03-02T16:56:09","modified_gmt":"2021-03-02T16:56:09","slug":"parcheesi-part-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wendirank.com\/index.php\/2021\/02\/25\/parcheesi-part-2\/","title":{"rendered":"Parcheesi, Part 2"},"content":{"rendered":"

You know my story, that five years ago next week my mom nearly died.<\/a> It was six weeks in the hospital and a year and a half to recover.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I no sooner breathed a sigh of relief at that 18-month slog when my dad told me his left hand had begun to shake and he\u2019d failed a swallowing evaluation. I\u2019d been pulled from a riptide, only to be slung back in.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

If you\u2019ve never read<\/a> the story of Willie’s<\/a> near-death experience, you\u2019re in for a treat. Click on those links. She yelled at me because I let Rosie Perez \u2013 yes, the actor \u2013 into her office, tried to convince me Don was dead, and told me my dad had once shot himself in the head, but she\u2019d hidden it from me even though A) my dad didn\u2019t own a gun, \u00a0B) I lived at home at the time, C) I was a nurse in the hospital where my dad would have been treated, and D) I worked in neurosurgery.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Neurosurgery is generally used to fix gunshot wounds to the head. In case you didn\u2019t know.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Of all the things I\u2019ve had to do these last five years \u2013 as power of attorney and somewhat of a caretaker \u2013 the absolute worst is the full, detailed, intense knowledge I have of my parents\u2019 sex life.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Yes. You read that right.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Two years ago, I was hanging with Indy when I stumbled across incontrovertible evidence he and Willie still, well, play Parcheesi<\/a>. Indy was not the source of my newfound knowledge and was, in fact, oblivious to the fact I possessed it.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I would rather live in the reptile house at any zoo for the rest of my days than discuss Parcheesi with Indy. Willie, however, is another matter.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Whispering so the hard-of-hearing Indy didn\u2019t realize I know exactly what Parcheesi is, I called Willie. Was what I discovered accurate? Did she and Indy still play the occasional round of Parcheesi?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Willie whispered too. I don\u2019t know why. She probably doesn\u2019t know why either. But she confirmed that yes, she and Indy still enjoy Parcheesi.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

For the year and a half prior to that discovery, I had dragged Indy from specialist to specialist. We didn\u2019t have his Parkinson\u2019s diagnosis yet. All we knew was his hand shook and he was tired all the time. Willie was perpetually concerned with Indy\u2019s need for a daily nap.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

That I had been spending days ushering Indy to Center City, North Philadelphia, suburban satellite offices, had bloodwork drawn and more than a few tests done, all in an effort to pinpoint the source of Indy\u2019s fatigue seemed ridiculous in light of what I now knew.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Indy is six years older than Willie. Willie\u2019s incessant rogering of the octogenarian Indy at least in part caused his fatigue. Right?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I hissed into the phone at Willie. Indy is old and not well, I told her. You leave him alone!<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Then I hung up before she could say anything back to me.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"\"
So, um, why the messy hair, guys?<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

 <\/p>\n

Easily, one of the best parts of Parkinson\u2019s is its tendency to cause genitourinary dysfunction<\/a>. That means at every doctor\u2019s appointment, the neurologist asks Indy well, how strong of a Parcheesi game he plays.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Indy, thankfully, keeps his response to this question curt. We have an unspoken agreement, Indy and me. In our world, Parcheesi doesn’t exist.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"\"
Get a room.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

 <\/p>\n

Earlier this week, Indy had an appointment with his new neurologist. It was a telehealth visit. Indy, Willie, and I crowded around Willie\u2019s laptop. It\u2019s unusual for Willie to join us for appointments.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

And here\u2019s the thing with Willie. She\u2019s very tech-savvy. But she buys the worst computers. She has about three of them in the apartment, and each works less efficiently than the one before it. When our appointment time came and went, I refreshed the screen, thinking maybe the doctor had logged in.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

All I managed to do was exit the appointment\u2019s virtual waiting room. Panicked, I tried to get back into the waiting room. My fingers flew over the keyboard and mouse touchpad. But the cursor leaped around the screen, countering every move I made.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

That was when I noticed Willie with the actual mouse, clicking away.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

This time, it was the mouse rather than Indy I asked Willie to stop touching.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She huffed to my dad that clearly, when I was about, she was not allowed to handle her own computer mouse.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

That\u2019s not the only thing I want you to quit handling there, sister.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

When the doctor finally logged on, she first asked for a list of Indy\u2019s medications. Willie keeps a computerized record of Indy\u2019s medications and ailments. I knew it was current because I had recently broken into her computer to update it.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I had asked Willie to print out a copy for the appointment. As I began to read for the neurologist I realized what I had was an old copy, full of medications Indy no longer takes. I had to dash across the apartment to grab a bottle of Indy\u2019s pills because, while I now know his medications, illnesses, military history, social security number, monthly disability payment, and love of Parcheesi by heart, in that moment I couldn\u2019t remember the dosage for one of his pills.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Exasperated, I sat back at the laptop. That was when Willie\u2019s cell phone began to ring from across the apartment.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

My cell phone sat on the table Indy, Willie, and I huddled around. I guess Willie figured cell phones were like kitchen and bedroom extensions \u2013 one could sub for the other. She grabbed my iPhone in an attempt to answer her bobo cell.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Sounding like a bear deprived of his Alaskan salmon, I growled to Willie she was answering the wrong phone. Willie scooted around the table to answer her cell.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Now Willie, not unlike myself, has two decibel levels to her voice \u2013 loud and shouting. She paced the apartment, speaking into her phone like she was trying to make the entire population of India hear her voice from her living room.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I know I\u2019ve said here I whispered this or that, and now say I only speak in a tone that\u2019s loud or louder. I can whisper if I\u2019m trying to hide Parcheesi from Indy. Otherwise, it\u2019s no secret what I\u2019m discussing.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I waited for Willie\u2019s pacing to land her in the office. Then I vaulted across the apartment and shut the door.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I contemplated pulling the large entertainment unit<\/a> across the door, too. Just until the neurology appointment was over. I didn\u2019t. But I should have.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Willie\u2019s call ended just in time for the neurologist to ask about Indy\u2019s Parcheesi game.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Willie, also not unlike myself, doesn\u2019t have a lot in the way of a filter. She launched into robust detail. She and Indy enjoy a good game of Parcheesi, even still. Indy, breaking our unspoken agreement, lustily agreed.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The neurologist apologized to me for the awkwardness of the conversation. Comparatively, I told her, this was a piece of cake.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Two weeks ago, I was visiting with Willie and Indy. I absolutely cannot put our conversation into print here, for the world to see. I will say I was not a willing participant in the exchange, I told them to stop talking many times, I needed Starbucks, a glass of wine, a lava cake, and an afternoon with Jason Statham<\/a> to recover from that conversation, and if you call me I\u2019ll gladly tell you what was discussed.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

After the neurology appointment, I trudged home, ready to call it a day. When Don called me from The Cabin<\/a> that night, I relayed my adventure, how Willie and Indy wouldn\u2019t stop talking about Parcheesi.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

When Don mercifully arrived home from The Cabin last night, our son showed off his left arm, swollen from his flu shot earlier in the day. Then he paused. He\u2019d had a vaccine a few months ago. Wasn\u2019t that his flu shot?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I explained to our son he\u2019d had his HPV<\/a> vaccine, not his flu shot.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s HPV?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Now, long ago, Don put me in charge of The Talk. As a clinician, I believe in being honest with my kids. Tell the truth, answer the question at hand, keep the explanation simple.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

My son is old enough to know what HPV is and how it is transmitted. So I told him.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He ran.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He secluded himself in his bedroom. And because he is his father\u2019s child, he emerged several minutes later with a joke about what I\u2019d just explained.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Yeah. I can\u2019t print that either. We\u2019ll cover it when you call me.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Don, for his part, rolled his eyes at me. \u201cYou are just the master of awkward conversations this week, aren\u2019t you?\u201d Which I laughed at two hours later because I\u2019m blonde and English.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Is it really so bad, having parents who still love each other? Maybe not. But this somehow opened a door, and now every card-carrying AARP member in my life tells me tidbits of their Parcheesi game. I\u2019m not a ghost whisperer but rather a senior citizen Parcheesi whisperer. I\u2019m like the kid in The Sixth Sense<\/em>. Except thankfully I don\u2019t actually see seniors playing Parcheesi. I only get to hear about it.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"\"
My uncle, Indy, and my great-uncle. I know too much about their Parcheesi games.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

 <\/p>\n

Which I guess is a good thing. There\u2019s a clock on this experience. Someday they\u2019ll all be gone. I won\u2019t hear about their love for Parcheesi anymore.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

If I was a ghost whisperer I\u2019d hear about it for all eternity.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"\"
This is the picture I COULD print. Imagine the one I left alone.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

You know my story, that five years ago next week my mom nearly died. It was six weeks in the hospital and a year and a half to recover.   I no sooner breathed a sigh of relief at that 18-month slog when my dad told me his left hand had begun to shake and…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":104,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[5,3,6,7,4],"yoast_head":"\nParcheesi, Part 2 - Wendi Rank<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"When the senior citizens in your life overshare...\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"noindex, follow\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Parcheesi, Part 2 - Wendi Rank\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"When the senior citizens in your life overshare...\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/wendirank.com\/index.php\/2021\/02\/25\/parcheesi-part-2\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Wendi Rank\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2021-02-25T23:14:59+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2021-03-02T16:56:09+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/wendirank.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/Screen-Shot-2021-02-25-at-6.09.21-PM.png\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"818\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"548\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/png\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"wendi\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"wendi\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"9 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/wendirank.com\/index.php\/2021\/02\/25\/parcheesi-part-2\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/wendirank.com\/index.php\/2021\/02\/25\/parcheesi-part-2\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"wendi\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/wendirank.com\/#\/schema\/person\/81fa1f6bb0eed6ccabd60fce3c44bdfd\"},\"headline\":\"Parcheesi, Part 2\",\"datePublished\":\"2021-02-25T23:14:59+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2021-03-02T16:56:09+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/wendirank.com\/index.php\/2021\/02\/25\/parcheesi-part-2\/\"},\"wordCount\":1756,\"commentCount\":0,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/wendirank.com\/#\/schema\/person\/81fa1f6bb0eed6ccabd60fce3c44bdfd\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/wendirank.com\/index.php\/2021\/02\/25\/parcheesi-part-2\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/wendirank.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/Screen-Shot-2021-02-25-at-6.09.21-PM.png\",\"keywords\":[\"Parkinson's\",\"Parkinson's disease\",\"Parkinson's disease awareness\",\"Parkinson's sucks\",\"sandwich generation\"],\"articleSection\":[\"Sandwich Generation\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/wendirank.com\/index.php\/2021\/02\/25\/parcheesi-part-2\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/wendirank.com\/index.php\/2021\/02\/25\/parcheesi-part-2\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/wendirank.com\/index.php\/2021\/02\/25\/parcheesi-part-2\/\",\"name\":\"Parcheesi, Part 2 - 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