{"id":130,"date":"2021-02-25T23:45:39","date_gmt":"2021-02-25T23:45:39","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/wendirank.com\/?p=130"},"modified":"2021-03-02T16:49:20","modified_gmt":"2021-03-02T16:49:20","slug":"sandwich-generation","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wendirank.com\/index.php\/2021\/02\/25\/sandwich-generation\/","title":{"rendered":"Sandwich Generation"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Remember <a href=\"https:\/\/wendirank.com\/index.php\/2021\/03\/01\/dirty-girl\/\">last week<\/a>? When I said I try to alternate who I talk about? Well everyone in those posts has taken a stand against me. Against my guiding principles.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s almost like they contest the things I\u2019ve said about them.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Which is weird. It\u2019s all true.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>It all started ten days ago. You may question how I can be so specific, but when you\u2019ve discovered something horrible about the person you love, that you\u2019ve built a life with, that you\u2019ve reproduced with, you remember the day it all came crashing down around your ears.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Don was making himself a sandwich while explaining changes in his coming work schedule. I watched in abject horror as he sliced the sandwich horizontally. Horizontally! Aghast, I \u2013 as calmly as I could \u2013 asked what the hell he was doing.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Don thought I was asking about his work schedule. As if that has ever mattered. I never anticipate that Don will be home any given day. I assume he will be working. Or hunting. Or working on hunting. I\u2019m never disappointed and always pleasantly surprised if he happens to be home.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>I pointed to his sandwich, like a horror movie heroine pointing at the slasher\/ghost\/demon. Don was oblivious. I had to spell it out for him.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Sandwiches should be cut vertically, for symmetry. Diagonally is also acceptable. Never horizontally. Horizontal cutting is asymmetrical and awful.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_131\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-131\" style=\"width: 206px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-131\" src=\"http:\/\/wendirank.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/Screen-Shot-2021-02-25-at-6.33.55-PM-206x300.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"206\" height=\"300\" srcset=\"https:\/\/wendirank.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/Screen-Shot-2021-02-25-at-6.33.55-PM-206x300.png 206w, https:\/\/wendirank.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/Screen-Shot-2021-02-25-at-6.33.55-PM-300x437.png 300w, https:\/\/wendirank.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/Screen-Shot-2021-02-25-at-6.33.55-PM.png 578w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 206px) 100vw, 206px\" \/><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-131\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Atrocious.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Don thought I was joking.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>I was not joking, nor would I ever.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Suffice it to say Don thought my horror ill-placed. There is no right way or wrong way to cut a sandwich, he maintained. It tastes the same.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Can you believe him?<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Our son was equally mystified \u2013 and a bit angry &#8211; by my insistence that sandwiches should not be cut horizontally. He began sending me increasingly dreadful photos of sandwiches, bizarre cuts mangling their form like the aforementioned slasher flick heroines.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_132\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-132\" style=\"width: 190px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-132\" src=\"http:\/\/wendirank.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/Screen-Shot-2021-02-25-at-6.34.53-PM-190x300.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"190\" height=\"300\" srcset=\"https:\/\/wendirank.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/Screen-Shot-2021-02-25-at-6.34.53-PM-190x300.png 190w, https:\/\/wendirank.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/Screen-Shot-2021-02-25-at-6.34.53-PM-300x473.png 300w, https:\/\/wendirank.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/Screen-Shot-2021-02-25-at-6.34.53-PM.png 570w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 190px) 100vw, 190px\" \/><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-132\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">He used the kitchen shears to create this monstrosity.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>I haven\u2019t slept well these last ten days.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_133\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-133\" style=\"width: 226px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-133\" src=\"http:\/\/wendirank.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/Screen-Shot-2021-02-25-at-6.36.13-PM-226x300.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"226\" height=\"300\" srcset=\"https:\/\/wendirank.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/Screen-Shot-2021-02-25-at-6.36.13-PM-226x300.png 226w, https:\/\/wendirank.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/Screen-Shot-2021-02-25-at-6.36.13-PM-300x399.png 300w, https:\/\/wendirank.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/Screen-Shot-2021-02-25-at-6.36.13-PM.png 712w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 226px) 100vw, 226px\" \/><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-133\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">He also snuck downstairs in the middle of the night to rearrange the fridge. Dreadful.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Last night I went to <a href=\"https:\/\/wendirank.com\/index.php\/2021\/02\/25\/the-move-part-2\/\">Willie and Indy&#8217;s<\/a>. They\u2019re having trouble keeping track of appointments. I thought an <a href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.com\/all-new-Echo\/dp\/B07NFTVP7P\/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&amp;keywords=alexa&amp;qid=1593018646&amp;sr=8-1\">Alexa<\/a> might help. Willie loved the idea of being able to demand a song or the weather, although she was a bit nervous about identity theft.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWhat if she hears me say my social security number?\u201d Willie wanted to know.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>\u201cDo you routinely go around shouting your social security number?\u201d I countered.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Surprisingly, my argument was not well received.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>I spent the evening in Willie and Indy\u2019s <a href=\"https:\/\/wendirank.com\/index.php\/2021\/02\/25\/the-move-part-3\/\">apartment<\/a>, setting up Alexa and chatting with my parents. Once Alexa was up and running, Willie asked for the \u201cRocky\u201d theme song.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Willie and Sylvester Stallone went to high school together. They were both in the school play. Willie was the lead. Sly was something that was not the lead. So, you know. Sly can take his Oscar and shove it because Willie was the mother***ing lead.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Indy asked Alexa to play a march. He\u2019s a big fan of classical music. Alexa launched into Mozart\u2019s <a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=aeEmGvm7kDk\">Turkish March<\/a>. Indy sat over his dessert, enjoying the rhythm of Wolfgang\u2019s composition.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>\u201cAlexa, stop!\u201d Willie yelled. \u201cPlay a <em>SOUSA<\/em> march!\u201d She helpfully reminded Indy that he likes Sousa\u2019s marches.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>She whispered when she spoke. You know. So Alexa wouldn\u2019t hear her tell Indy of his preference for Sousa\u2019s marches, then steal her social security number.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>As Sousa blared, my son texted me. It was a picture of yet another gruesomely cut sandwich. I cringed and showed my parents. In earnest, I described the day Don cut his sandwich so egregiously. I told them how, between the sandwich and my &#8220;Dirty Girl&#8221; column, Don now thinks I have a problem.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_134\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-134\" style=\"width: 300px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-134\" src=\"http:\/\/wendirank.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/Screen-Shot-2021-02-25-at-6.36.55-PM-300x226.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"226\" srcset=\"https:\/\/wendirank.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/Screen-Shot-2021-02-25-at-6.36.55-PM-300x226.png 300w, https:\/\/wendirank.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/Screen-Shot-2021-02-25-at-6.36.55-PM-768x578.png 768w, https:\/\/wendirank.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/Screen-Shot-2021-02-25-at-6.36.55-PM-850x640.png 850w, https:\/\/wendirank.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/Screen-Shot-2021-02-25-at-6.36.55-PM.png 906w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-134\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">The offending sandwich. I know it\u2019s blurry, but it was taken by a 12-year old giddy with delight at ruining his mom\u2019s world.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>I poured my heart out to my parents. My protectors. My champions. My discourse raged on, illustrating yes, I do have a problem. The people I live with are slobs, cutting their sandwiches all willy-nilly. They don&#8217;t lay books on tables at ninety-degree angles. They don&#8217;t line up their shoes on the doormat.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_135\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-135\" style=\"width: 300px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-135\" src=\"http:\/\/wendirank.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/Screen-Shot-2021-02-25-at-6.37.48-PM-300x199.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"199\" srcset=\"https:\/\/wendirank.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/Screen-Shot-2021-02-25-at-6.37.48-PM-300x199.png 300w, https:\/\/wendirank.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/Screen-Shot-2021-02-25-at-6.37.48-PM-768x510.png 768w, https:\/\/wendirank.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/Screen-Shot-2021-02-25-at-6.37.48-PM-850x565.png 850w, https:\/\/wendirank.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/Screen-Shot-2021-02-25-at-6.37.48-PM.png 900w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-135\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Oh, I\u2019m sorry. Is the back of the car where we\u2019re keeping the saw now?<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>My dissertation done, I looked at my parents, imploring them to understand and support me. Surely they see the grisly situation in which I live. My soulmate is a horizontal sandwich cutter. Worse, I\u2019ve only just discovered his betrayal. Our children possess the same disturbing genome. My parents will have my back as I navigate the horror that now passes for my life.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Willie and Indy looked at each other. They looked at me. They turned back to each other.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI think she\u2019s expecting us to agree with her,\u201d Willie told Indy.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Indy, for his part, couldn\u2019t respond. He was doubled over, laughing too hard to speak. Hysterical laughter is not an easy thing to achieve when you have <a href=\"https:\/\/www.michaeljfox.org\/symptoms?smcid=ag-a1b1R0000086fMw\">Parkinson&#8217;s disease<\/a>. But I\u2019m a <a href=\"https:\/\/journals.lww.com\/nursing\/Fulltext\/2020\/07000\/Standing_up_to_stigma_in_epilepsy.14.aspx\">neurosurgical nurse<\/a> and that\u2019s how I roll. I fixed his Parkinson\u2019s without even trying.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Willie and Indy then went on to say everything Don had said. Between the sandwich cutting and \u201cDirty Girl\u201d post, they think I\u2019m a little unglued.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>I told them that, as my parents, they\u2019re supposed to agree with me.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>They asked if, as my parents, they had made me this way.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Unequivocally, yes. Willie and Indy are cyclones. Whirling dervishes. They are like Pigpen, leaving chaos wherever they travel. Growing up, the clutter they are blind to agitated me. I compensated by making my spaces as neat as can be. In other words, I made my spaces NORMAL.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>I say that with all love for Willie and Indy.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_136\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-136\" style=\"width: 289px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-136\" src=\"http:\/\/wendirank.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/Screen-Shot-2021-02-25-at-6.38.32-PM-289x300.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"289\" height=\"300\" srcset=\"https:\/\/wendirank.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/Screen-Shot-2021-02-25-at-6.38.32-PM-289x300.png 289w, https:\/\/wendirank.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/Screen-Shot-2021-02-25-at-6.38.32-PM-768x796.png 768w, https:\/\/wendirank.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/Screen-Shot-2021-02-25-at-6.38.32-PM-300x311.png 300w, https:\/\/wendirank.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/Screen-Shot-2021-02-25-at-6.38.32-PM-850x881.png 850w, https:\/\/wendirank.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/Screen-Shot-2021-02-25-at-6.38.32-PM.png 866w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 289px) 100vw, 289px\" \/><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-136\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">All I\u2019m going to say is that is Willie and Indy\u2019s stuff. In the back of my car. You know. Where we usually keep the saw.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>My parents \u2013 MY PARENTS &#8211;\u00a0 began to give me different sandwich-making scenarios. When I make peanut butter and jelly, do I put the peanut butter on one slice, the jelly on the other, then slap the bread together?<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Um, no. Are you serious? The peanut butter and jelly and bread crumbs get all over the place when you do that. What a mess. Put the peanut butter on first, then the jelly on top like a regular person.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>What about just peanut butter? Peanut butter on both slices, or just one?<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>What am I, a monster? One side. One side!!<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>How do they \u2013 all of them \u2013 not see how cutting your sandwich properly imposes order on your world? I feel like Rosemary in <em>Rosemary\u2019s Baby<\/em> \u2013 the only one who can see that everyone is a witch.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>David Carr, in his autobiographical <a href=\"https:\/\/www.nytimes.com\/2008\/08\/10\/books\/review\/Handy-t.html\">The Night Of The Gun<\/a>, tells the story of his war with addiction. A writer with <em>The New York Times<\/em>, Carr was so addicted to cocaine he eventually turned to injecting the drug.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Did not know you could do that.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>His addiction created a trail of decimated relationships, like cockroaches killed by poison under the sink. In his sobriety, he set out to speak with those affected by his drug use. As he did so, he found his memories of drug-fueled encounters didn\u2019t jive with the memories of those with whom he\u2019d had those encounters.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s a great book, if you ever get the chance.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Inspired by Carr\u2019s work \u2013 a desire for a different, perhaps more accurate perspective &#8211; I texted my mom and siblings. Was I this obsessive growing up? My memory is that I was, which leads me to believe I was born this way and am therefore right, and alright.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>My sister, with whom I shared a bedroom, would have a reliable answer to my query. My recollection is perpetual battles between my cleanliness and her slovenliness. I would dump her messes on her bed, the intent being for her to sleep she&#8217;d have to finally \u2013 finally \u2013 put her stuff away.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Nope. She\u2019d just shove it onto the floor, under the bed, then curl up and sleep. Completely unencumbered.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>As if you\u2019ve earned your sleep with a mess like that.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>I can remember coming home from a three-week trip with school and knowing my sister had worn my clothes while I was gone. My closet was completely out of order.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>I recall coming home from work one night and knowing my sister had used my face cream because it had been moved from its designated spot.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>I routinely cleaned out our toy cabinet. Dusted my grandmother&#8217;s shelves. Tidied our summer beach rental. Organized my Trapper Keeper.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_137\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-137\" style=\"width: 271px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-137\" src=\"http:\/\/wendirank.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/Screen-Shot-2021-02-25-at-6.41.04-PM-271x300.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"271\" height=\"300\" srcset=\"https:\/\/wendirank.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/Screen-Shot-2021-02-25-at-6.41.04-PM-271x300.png 271w, https:\/\/wendirank.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/Screen-Shot-2021-02-25-at-6.41.04-PM-768x851.png 768w, https:\/\/wendirank.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/Screen-Shot-2021-02-25-at-6.41.04-PM-300x333.png 300w, https:\/\/wendirank.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/Screen-Shot-2021-02-25-at-6.41.04-PM-850x942.png 850w, https:\/\/wendirank.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/Screen-Shot-2021-02-25-at-6.41.04-PM.png 886w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 271px) 100vw, 271px\" \/><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-137\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Things my son has done, either to mess with me or because he has his father\u2019s and grandparents\u2019 DNA. He\u2019s put popsicle sticks in an empty tissue box, but left the tissue box on the table like it still has tissues\u2026<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_139\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-139\" style=\"width: 255px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-139\" src=\"http:\/\/wendirank.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/Screen-Shot-2021-02-25-at-6.42.17-PM-255x300.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"255\" height=\"300\" srcset=\"https:\/\/wendirank.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/Screen-Shot-2021-02-25-at-6.42.17-PM-255x300.png 255w, https:\/\/wendirank.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/Screen-Shot-2021-02-25-at-6.42.17-PM-300x353.png 300w, https:\/\/wendirank.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/Screen-Shot-2021-02-25-at-6.42.17-PM.png 720w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 255px) 100vw, 255px\" \/><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-139\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">\u2026.flipped the drink coasters upside-down\u2026.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_140\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-140\" style=\"width: 260px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-140\" src=\"http:\/\/wendirank.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/Screen-Shot-2021-02-25-at-6.42.48-PM-260x300.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"260\" height=\"300\" srcset=\"https:\/\/wendirank.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/Screen-Shot-2021-02-25-at-6.42.48-PM-260x300.png 260w, https:\/\/wendirank.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/Screen-Shot-2021-02-25-at-6.42.48-PM-768x887.png 768w, https:\/\/wendirank.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/Screen-Shot-2021-02-25-at-6.42.48-PM-300x347.png 300w, https:\/\/wendirank.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/Screen-Shot-2021-02-25-at-6.42.48-PM-850x982.png 850w, https:\/\/wendirank.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/Screen-Shot-2021-02-25-at-6.42.48-PM.png 862w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 260px) 100vw, 260px\" \/><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-140\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">\u2026.and stacked all the toilet paper for the bathroom on the back of the toilet. Actually, that\u2019s all kind of funny. Horrifying, but funny.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>\u201cNot really,\u201d my sister texted in response to my question. \u201cMaybe a little.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Well. That\u2019s a sister for you. She\u2019s probably on everyone else\u2019s side.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>So we\u2019re at a d\u00e9tente. My husband, children, parents on one side. Me on the other.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Guess whose side is neater?<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>That\u2019s right. Because I\u2019m the motherf***ing lead too.<\/p>\n<p>I don\u2019t know what I\u2019m talking about, but I know I\u2019m right.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Remember last week? When I said I try to alternate who I talk about? Well everyone in those posts has taken a stand against me. Against my guiding principles. &nbsp; It\u2019s almost like they contest the things I\u2019ve said about them. &nbsp; Which is weird. It\u2019s all true. &nbsp; It all started ten days ago&#8230;.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":131,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[10,11,4],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.5 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Sandwich Generation - Wendi Rank<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"You think you know the story of the sandwich. There\u2019s more to it. Way more\u2026\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"noindex, follow\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Sandwich Generation - Wendi Rank\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"You think you know the story of the sandwich. There\u2019s more to it. 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