{"id":45,"date":"2021-02-21T14:32:40","date_gmt":"2021-02-21T14:32:40","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/wendirank.com\/?p=45"},"modified":"2021-03-02T17:12:27","modified_gmt":"2021-03-02T17:12:27","slug":"the-electric-company","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wendirank.com\/index.php\/2021\/02\/21\/the-electric-company\/","title":{"rendered":"The Electric Company"},"content":{"rendered":"

I promised you a story. A story of an electrician<\/a>. An electrician for Willie and Indy<\/a>.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I am that electrician.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Recently, I headed to Willie and Indy\u2019s apartment. My intent was to illustrate the capabilities of both a FitBit and an Apple Watch<\/a>. Although they ultimately chose the Apple Watch, getting them to the decision wasn\u2019t easy. There are always a dozen things that go wrong when I need to sit down with Willie and Indy.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

When such an occasion arises, I make an appointment. If I say \u201cOh, I\u2019ll stop by later\u201d Willie will say \u201cWe\u2019ll be home!\u201d Which is true about 0.001% of the time she says it. There\u2019s always something they\u2019re doing Willie forgets about.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

If I make an appointment, the chances I\u2019ll succeed in seeing Willie and Indy become more like 4.004%. But if I make an appointment, remind Willie the day before, then remind her again the morning of, my chances of success hit an impressive 54%.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Deciding on an Apple Watch or FitBit was important for my sanity, so I made the requisite appointment and phone calls. When I arrived at Willie and Indy\u2019s apartment, Willie was baking.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Not just baking. Baking<\/em>. Like it was Christmas. Brownies. Cookies. The kitchen looked like the display case of a bakery. I assumed Willie was finishing her task momentarily, about to sit with me and Indy. Ready to discuss the thing that could help me sleep at night.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

No.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Indy and Willie first pointed out the TV. They have two flat screens \u2013 one mounted on the living room wall, one on the bedroom wall. The living room TV was broken. Willie had arranged to send it out to be fixed. But the electrician who installed it couldn\u2019t remove it from the wall unless he was doing another electrical job in the apartment.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

And the apartment maintenance staff are not permitted to perform such tasks. So Indy had tried to remove the TV from the wall.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He managed to get all but one screw disengaged from the mounting frame. The TV hung cockeyed on the wall, like a picture tilted by ghostly hands in a horror movie.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I wish they had called me before even scheduling a repair. I probably could have figured out the problem.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

But Willie and Indy are loath to ask me for help. It\u2019s great because it means by the time I know about a problem, Willie and Indy have already made it many times worse than it was originally. It makes for great problem-solving skills. I don\u2019t do escape rooms because Willie and Indy are <\/em>an escape room.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I asked them how they planned to get the TV off the wall. They didn\u2019t know.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Yeah. I decided to be the electrician and take the TV off the wall.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I had to move the entertainment unit before I could access the crooked TV. Before I could do that, I had to remove the othe<\/em>r TV.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"\"
The scratches on the wall are 100% my fault.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

 <\/p>\n

Despite their failure with the living room TV, Willie and Indy had managed to get the bedroom TV from the wall. It was now in the living room, propped up on the entertainment unit.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The TV was held in place with a bag of sugar on one end, a bag of flour on the other. And it had been stuck on CNN for the better part of the preceding twenty-four hours.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"\"
I disconnected the bedroom TV and set it aside, removing the bags of flour and sugar as I did so. Then I pulled the entertainment unit from the wall.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The entertainment unit. My grandfather bought it for my mom. I was five when he died, so that thing was in our house pretty much my whole life. I\u2019m familiar with the story, that it\u2019s the only thing my grandfather ever gave my mom.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou know,\u201d Willie said, \u201cwe had that entertainment unit in our house for years before we moved here. It\u2019s the only thing my father ever gave me.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I reminded her I wasn\u2019t actually an electrician, just playing one for the TV – I was in our house for years before they moved to the apartment too. I\u2019m not a stranger. I know all about the entertainment unit.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

And I am the best thing my <\/em>father ever gave her.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I got in a little trouble over that because I\u2019m not an only child.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"\"
Indy – or Kenny Rogers – with his Christmas stocking. Do you know where we hung the Christmas stockings? On the entertainment unit.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"\"
What\u2019s that in the background, Willie? Could it be the entertainment unit?!<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Dust and detritus layered the floor behind the entertainment unit. They stared up at me, mocking my need for order. My Obsessiveness<\/a> would let me go no further until I had cleaned up the mess.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

That was when I noticed the rear third of the entertainment unit was coated with dust.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Yes. I cleaned that too.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I’m not a monster. How can I be expected to pull a TV from the wall when there are messes to clean up?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

And tell me that isn\u2019t a metaphor for my relationship with Willie and Indy.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Looking behind the TV, I could see one screw holding the TV on the track. I tried and tried, but no matter what I did I couldn\u2019t lift that screw out of the track. Nor would it slide out. Sweat began to pool in the small of my back and under my mask.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Not because I can\u2019t handle physical exertion. You try lifting a TV from a wall in an apartment with two ovens running and a thermostat set at about 105 degrees. Is the apartment an autoclave? Are they trying to kill bacteria? Grow it? Get a tan?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

As I struggled and struggled with that TV, Willie thanked me for my work. And told me not to stress. If I wasn\u2019t successful, the electrician said he\u2019d take it down.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

You can go back and read what I said about the electrician. But you didn\u2019t read it wrong. She told me the electrician wasn\u2019t coming.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSomeday, I\u2019m going to write about this,\u201d I muttered.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Willie ordered Indy over to help me, because if there’s anything you want it’s the 82-year-old guy with Parkinson’s muddling around with loose wires and cables on the floor.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I typed \u201c91\u201d into my phone, ready to hit \u201c1\u201d then \u201cSend\u201d if Indy tripped. Then I began giving Indy orders on how to help.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Before the last word could even form in my brain, the TV was off the wall. I almost fell over with the full weight of it in my hands. Indy stood there, grinning at me.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHow did you do that?\u201d I asked. More importantly, why didn\u2019t he do that before?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cTrade secret,\u201d Indy said, shuffling off over the wires, never once tripping or losing his balance.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"\"
Success!<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Next I set about fixing the cable hookup, so Indy and Willie could do more than watch Anderson Cooper. I love Anderson, but does anyone need a full day of CNN when there are so many Big Bang Theory<\/em> reruns to watch?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I replaced the bags of sugar and flour, as I imagine any good electrician would. Finally, an hour after I arrived to talk Apple Watches, drenched in sweat and dust, I sat down to talk.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Surely, I figured, by now Willie would be done baking.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I figured wrong. I sat with Indy and explained the options, then explained them again whenever Willie shouted \u201cWhat?!\u201d from the kitchen.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I mean, that\u2019s no way to treat your electrician.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"\"
All I\u2019m going to say is this is another metaphor.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Remember the story I told you about the wine? How I messed it up, but didn\u2019t tell Willie? Doesn\u2019t seem so bad now, does it?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Because you now you know.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I\u2019m not a sommelier. I\u2019m an electrician.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

With the world\u2019s worst customers.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I promised you a story. A story of an electrician. An electrician for Willie and Indy.   I am that electrician.   Recently, I headed to Willie and Indy\u2019s apartment. My intent was to illustrate the capabilities of both a FitBit and an Apple Watch. Although they ultimately chose the Apple Watch, getting them to…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":48,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[5,3,6,7,4],"yoast_head":"\nThe Electric Company - Wendi Rank<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"I'm not an electrician. I don't even play one on TV.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"noindex, follow\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"The Electric Company - Wendi Rank\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"I'm not an electrician. 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