{"id":511,"date":"2021-04-08T10:13:57","date_gmt":"2021-04-08T10:13:57","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/wendirank.com\/?p=511"},"modified":"2021-04-08T10:13:57","modified_gmt":"2021-04-08T10:13:57","slug":"sleepless-in-southampton","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wendirank.com\/index.php\/2021\/04\/08\/sleepless-in-southampton\/","title":{"rendered":"Sleepless in Southampton"},"content":{"rendered":"

I think Willie<\/a> is trying to kill me.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Her weapon? Sleep deprivation. Her motive? Well, she still hates<\/a> me.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"\"
I’m not their favorite person these days.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

 <\/p>\n

Willie was victimized by a phone scammer, the scope of which you can read about this coming weekend<\/a>.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I am Willie and Indy\u2019s financial power of attorney. I think normal people maybe would have called their financial power of attorney after something like this. But I am not tangling with normal people here.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

This is Willie. I found out about the scammer by accident.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"\"
You’re kidding me, right?<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

 <\/p>\n

I suspected the scammer had done more damage than Willie realized, so I told Willie to run her computer\u2019s anti-virus. I\u2019d be over in the morning to sort through the rubble left when the scammer detonated his bomb.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

But I should have begun my investigation that night. I was restless in bed, ruminating on all the things that could go wrong. My main fear was that the scammer had been able to access Indy and Willie\u2019s retirement funds.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

They\u2019d have to come live with me if that happened.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

If Willie and I are living under one roof, only one of us is coming out alive.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

My money is on Willie.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Well, mine and<\/em> Willie\u2019s money is on Willie. I have all of Willie\u2019s liquid funds at the moment. As it turns out, closing out bank accounts and opening new ones is a dance so complex Patrick Swayze couldn\u2019t teach it, even if we had a whole summer together at Kellerman\u2019s.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"\"
How deep a hole are you digging this time?<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

 <\/p>\n

Anyway, around three in the morning I gave up. Do you know how much work you can get done if you give up sleep?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I do. I know how much work you can get done if you give up sleep.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

My disrupted sleep was well-founded. Sitting down with Indy and Willie the following morning, I quickly determined the scammer had gotten Willie to load screen-sharing software onto her computer. He\u2019d shared her screen while Willie accessed her bank account.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I explained this to Willie, who assured me she had deleted the program, and that my IT brother-in-law had walked her through cleaning up her computer.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

But she hadn\u2019t run the anti-virus. She hadn’t done any of the things I’d suggested she do to protect herself from the scammer until I could go over and assess the damage. Why take steps to protect yourself? It’s only your entire life’s savings.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

So we launched her anti-virus, which gave us a countdown of eighteen hours. Eighteen hours to go through Willie\u2019s files, looking for the scammer.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cUgh,\u201d Willie huffed. \u201cEighteen hours! I could have run this before I went to bed, let it run while I was SLEEPING! I\u2019ll never be able to use my computer today if this thing takes EIGHTEEN HOURS!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

If only someone had suggested she run the anti-virus the night before.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Also, Willie losing access to her computer maybe isn\u2019t such a bad thing.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

It took four days for me to sort through Willie and Indy\u2019s financials, poking through their electronics and accounts, searching for the scammer.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

You\u2019ve probably figured out that Willie doesn\u2019t do anything small. This particular week was no exception.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

One day, my phone rang at six in the morning. I checked the caller ID.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Willie.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

That was concerning. Even more alarming, the call disconnected as I answered.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I quickly called Willie back, who told me it had been a butt-dial and apologized profusely. But my household starts early. I assured Willie Don and I were already up when she called.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

We didn\u2019t have the pounding hearts until the phone rang, but we\u2019d been awake.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The next morning, my phone rang at six again. This time, Willie was cheerful. She knew I was already up, so she had called to tell me something. Something trivial. Something that could have waited until a reasonable hour, when adrenaline wouldn\u2019t surge through my body.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I hadn\u2019t slept well in days. The adrenaline, the frustration. I\u2019d taken to luring Pete to the couch, cuddling up together with my book and the remote in the middle of the night.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"\"
At least someone can sleep!<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

 <\/p>\n

I was worried. Worried about Willie. Worried about her money.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I was also worried about me. I\u2019d begun watching Lifetime movies. I haven\u2019t watched Lifetime movies in years. But a title like \u201cInfidelity in Suburbia\u201d is just begging to be explored, right? I mean, I know The Meg<\/em> and Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom<\/em> aren\u2019t exactly Citizen Kane<\/em>, but Lifetime movies?! What was happening to me?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Also, you know that if your contractor is that hot, and that willing to have an affair with you, he\u2019s going to wind up killing people and destroying your marriage. I mean, really. It\u2019s a good thing you have that big, beautiful window to push him through. You need to fix this thing.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Just don\u2019t bang the next contractor, the one who comes to fix your window.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

After many nights with unfaithful, scheming wives, I finally collapsed. Exhaustion took over. Pete and I crashed, sleeping like Rumpelstiltskin.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Until Willie called at two in the morning.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She was concerned. She had a post-nasal drip, so she\u2019d checked her oxygen saturation with her home pulse oximeter<\/a>.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Checking your pulse oximeter because you have a post-nasal drip is a bit like taking your car to the mechanic because your gas tank is empty.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Willie reported that her pulse oximetry reading was between 87% and 97%.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I can\u2019t even begin to get into how many things are wrong with that statement.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I walked Willie through what medications and actions to take, to ease her post-nasal drip and her mind. She apologized for calling. But she knew I’d be upset if she didn’t call.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Which is accurate.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

But the inconsistency. No phone call when a scammer accesses your bank accounts, but a mid-sleep call for a post-nasal drip?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I was beginning to think a murderous contractor might be easier to deal with.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I told Willie to keep me posted, which she dutifully did by text.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

For the rest of the night.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The activity woke Pete, who figured two in the morning is as good a time as any to go out back and rouse the rabbits from beneath the deck.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I checked in on Willie later that morning. She told me she thought maybe her pulse oximeter was broken.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

You don\u2019t say.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She was also excited. She\u2019d received a letter. Her former employer had invited her to a conference in California. They\u2019d even sent plane tickets. Sure, she\u2019d call American Express \u2013 all the paperwork said \u201cAmerican Express\u201d \u2013 to make sure it wasn\u2019t a scam. But a professional conference! In California! Her airfare paid! It was all so exciting.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I sighed quietly. She retired nearly a decade ago. She\u2019s had no contact with anyone currently employed by her former hospital. I didn\u2019t think anyone was sending her on an all-expense paid trip to California.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"\"
Nurse Willie, circa 1986.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

 <\/p>\n

Something tells me my sleepless nights are just beginning.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

See you soon, Lifetime.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I think Willie is trying to kill me.   Her weapon? Sleep deprivation. Her motive? Well, she still hates me.     Willie was victimized by a phone scammer, the scope of which you can read about this coming weekend.   I am Willie and Indy\u2019s financial power of attorney. I think normal people maybe…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":517,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[11,5,3,6,7,4,8,9],"yoast_head":"\nSleepless in Southampton - Wendi Rank<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"I may never sleep again.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"noindex, follow\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Sleepless in Southampton - Wendi Rank\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"I may never sleep again.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/wendirank.com\/index.php\/2021\/04\/08\/sleepless-in-southampton\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Wendi Rank\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2021-04-08T10:13:57+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/wendirank.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/IMG_7600-scaled.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"1780\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"2560\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"wendi\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"wendi\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"7 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/wendirank.com\/index.php\/2021\/04\/08\/sleepless-in-southampton\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/wendirank.com\/index.php\/2021\/04\/08\/sleepless-in-southampton\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"wendi\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/wendirank.com\/#\/schema\/person\/81fa1f6bb0eed6ccabd60fce3c44bdfd\"},\"headline\":\"Sleepless in Southampton\",\"datePublished\":\"2021-04-08T10:13:57+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2021-04-08T10:13:57+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/wendirank.com\/index.php\/2021\/04\/08\/sleepless-in-southampton\/\"},\"wordCount\":1317,\"commentCount\":0,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/wendirank.com\/#\/schema\/person\/81fa1f6bb0eed6ccabd60fce3c44bdfd\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/wendirank.com\/index.php\/2021\/04\/08\/sleepless-in-southampton\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/wendirank.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/IMG_7600-scaled.jpg\",\"keywords\":[\"obsessive\",\"Parkinson's\",\"Parkinson's disease\",\"Parkinson's disease awareness\",\"Parkinson's sucks\",\"sandwich generation\",\"sepsis\",\"septic shock\"],\"articleSection\":[\"Sandwich Generation\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/wendirank.com\/index.php\/2021\/04\/08\/sleepless-in-southampton\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/wendirank.com\/index.php\/2021\/04\/08\/sleepless-in-southampton\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/wendirank.com\/index.php\/2021\/04\/08\/sleepless-in-southampton\/\",\"name\":\"Sleepless in Southampton - 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