{"id":663,"date":"2021-09-30T13:02:25","date_gmt":"2021-09-30T13:02:25","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wendirank.com\/?p=663"},"modified":"2021-09-30T13:06:22","modified_gmt":"2021-09-30T13:06:22","slug":"apollo-13","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wendirank.com\/index.php\/2021\/09\/30\/apollo-13\/","title":{"rendered":"Apollo 13"},"content":{"rendered":"

I suppose, for normal people, attending doctors\u2019 appointments with their elderly parents is boring on a level akin to kids\u2019 sports.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Lucky for me, Indy and Willie<\/a> are not normal people.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

It takes a lot of effort to keep Indy and Willie in tip-top shape. They\u2019re like the Apollo 13<\/em> mission \u2013 no sooner is one problem fixed than another crops up in its place.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I try to write down everything that happens so I can relay it to you. Sometimes, though, even my notes aren\u2019t enough. For example, a few weeks ago, I had to take Indy to the VA in University City.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

As we drove, he outlined an idea for a fictional story he wanted me to write.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I know. There\u2019s so much to unpack there. We can talk about that later.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I wrote down that Indy had a book idea for me. What I failed to do was write down the exact idea.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

And now I can\u2019t remember it. He probably can\u2019t either.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Anyway, last week Indy had a video appointment with his primary care doctor at the VA. I attend as many of Indy\u2019s appointments as I can.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Let\u2019s talk about why.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

A few weeks ago, Indy saw his regular \u2013 as in non-VA \u2013 primary care doctor.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Yes. Indy has two primary care doctors. Listen, if Michael J. Fox can get spinal cord surgery at Hopkins even though he lives in New York City, and if he can get the chief of neurosurgery to operate, and if he can get the director of nursing to hand-pick his nursing staff, then Indy can have two primary care doctors.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Michael J. Fox\u2019s new book is really good, by the way.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I couldn\u2019t attend the appointment with Indy\u2019s non-VA primary care doctor. I was supposed to, but when Willie scheduled the appointment, she forgot that I have kids.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I can\u2019t be at Indy\u2019s appointment in Lansdale at two in the afternoon and make it to Southampton to pick up the kids from school at 2:45. This fact chronically eludes Willie.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

And this now concludes the angry portion of this post.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I have Indy\u2019s non-VA primary care doctor\u2019s cell phone number for just such occasions. So I teleconferenced the appointment from the school\u2019s car line.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Indy had to resume a medication we had stopped. We weren\u2019t sure if he could start it all at once or if he had to titrate the dose up over a few days. Indy\u2019s doctor said to have at it \u2013 hit Indy with the full dose.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Cool.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The next day, I asked Willie if she had given Indy the medication.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOh, the doctor didn\u2019t say anything about that,\u201d Willie told me.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

So I try to attend all of Indy\u2019s appointments.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Indy and I settled in as usual \u2013 seated at the dining room table, my computer ready to go. As soon as the doctor called in, Willie began the most important task for Indy\u2019s telehealth appointments.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Making as much noise<\/a> as possible.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"\"
The common theme in all of these pictures? I am, ostensibly, the focus of the picture. Yet I am washed out or blurred in each one. Kind of like Indy is with Steven Spielberg. So it’s a pattern…<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

 <\/p>\n

Let me be clear. Indy and Willie are both retired. They have twenty-four empty hours a day to fill. So why does Willie need to unload the dishwasher when Indy is on a telehealth appointment?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Willie clanged and banged away with the dishes like an errant New Year\u2019s Eve reveler as Indy and I shouted over the clamor and strained to hear the doctor.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The commotion paused when Indy and Willie\u2019s doorbell rang.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Willie answered the door. Then she invited the visitor into the apartment.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Willie and her visitor conversed right next to the table where Indy and I were conducting his appointment.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

They did not speak in hushed tones. They did not move out into the hallway. They didn\u2019t even move twelve feet away into the kitchen.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

They stood right next to us, talking about the Black Sleep of the Kali Ma or whatever it is the old folks at the Temple of Doom<\/a> talk about.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Once the appointment was over, so were the Kali Ma negotiations and the dishwashing. Willie settled in quietly at the table with me and Indy.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cLet me tell you about Steven Spielberg<\/a>!\u201d Willie began.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Because, you know, there\u2019s nothing going on with Indy. He didn\u2019t just finish a doctor\u2019s appointment or anything important like that.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"\"
My reflection in the mirror is kind of freaking me out. I keep waiting for it to turn around and start talking.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

 <\/p>\n

Once I had the full update on Steven Spielberg, Willie filled me in on the current status of her cough syrup<\/a> prescription because she and Indy are straight-up Motley Crue, passing that nonsense around like they\u2019re Dr. Feelgood.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Willie was running low on her cough syrup. She couldn\u2019t get ahold of the prescribing doctor, so she did exactly what Erica Kane did on All My Children<\/em> when Maria wouldn\u2019t prescribe her more painkillers.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She found another doctor to do it.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She didn\u2019t sleep with him though. Willie is many things, but she\u2019s no Erica Kane. Because really. Who is?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSo let me get this straight,\u201d I said. \u201cYou\u2019re getting narcotic cough syrup from two doctors?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Willie clearly hadn\u2019t thought about this. \u201cWell, yes,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I\u2019m beginning to think Willie\u2019s cough syrup is<\/em> the Black Sleep of the Kali Ma.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

That\u2019s when Indy piped up. His younger and only surviving brother calls Indy every Sunday from his home in Florida. This particular week, he told Indy he had received his medical marijuana card \u201cfor pain.\u201d He thought Indy should get medical marijuana too.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

As if I don\u2019t have enough problems with Nikki Sixx here calling around to every doctor in Pine Valley \u2013 I mean the Delaware Valley \u2013 to get her cough syrup fix.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Or maybe that should be \u201ccough syrup fixx<\/em>\u201d?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Now, I assumed that my uncle was suggesting medical marijuana for Indy\u2019s Parkinson\u2019s disease \u2013 which has been researched<\/a>. But I was wrong.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He suggested it for Indy\u2019s pain.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBut I don\u2019t have pain,\u201d Indy told me.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Well, I know Indy doesn\u2019t have pain. I was at a complete loss as to what Indy was asking.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cMaybe he just wants you to get high with him,\u201d I said.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Indy laughed, but reiterated that my uncle thought Indy should be using marijuana for pain.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t have pain,\u201d Indy told me again.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I needed this like I needed Willie\u2019s friend talking about Kali Ma right next to Indy\u2019s telehealth appointment.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I explained the different uses for medical marijuana \u2013 like anxiety and managing the side effects of chemotherapy – none of which apply to Indy.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"\"
I’m not kidding – this appeared in my Instagram inbox the moment I finished this post.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

 <\/p>\n

Next, we moved on to Willie\u2019s CT scan. I asked her doctor to order one for her head because that girl can\u2019t remember a thing, including that I was the one who scheduled the CT scan.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Willie is afraid of CT scans. She gets claustrophobic. She wanted me to be in the CT scanning room with her so that I could \u2013 and I\u2019m not making this up, but I think you know that \u2013 pull her out of the CT scanner if the room caught on fire.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"\"
See?! I’m slumped down in this picture because that reflection is just creepy.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cMaybe you need the medical marijuana,\u201d I told Willie. \u201cThat\u2019ll cure your phobia.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Willie huffed. Marijuana, she informed me, is just a gateway drug. It\u2019s just a short hop, leap, and jump from medical marijuana to, I don\u2019t know, heroin or something.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Or the Black Sleep of the Kali Ma.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I suppose, for normal people, attending doctors\u2019 appointments with their elderly parents is boring on a level akin to kids\u2019 sports.   Lucky for me, Indy and Willie are not normal people.     It takes a lot of effort to keep Indy and Willie in tip-top shape. They\u2019re like the Apollo 13 mission \u2013…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":664,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[5,6,7,4],"yoast_head":"\nApollo 13 - Wendi Rank<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"I think I might be the one who needs the medical marijuana card.....\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"noindex, follow\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Apollo 13 - Wendi Rank\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"I think I might be the one who needs the medical marijuana card.....\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/wendirank.com\/index.php\/2021\/09\/30\/apollo-13\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Wendi Rank\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2021-09-30T13:02:25+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2021-09-30T13:06:22+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/wendirank.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/09\/IMG_8914-scaled.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"2560\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"2060\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"wendi\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"wendi\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"8 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/wendirank.com\/index.php\/2021\/09\/30\/apollo-13\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/wendirank.com\/index.php\/2021\/09\/30\/apollo-13\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"wendi\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/wendirank.com\/#\/schema\/person\/81fa1f6bb0eed6ccabd60fce3c44bdfd\"},\"headline\":\"Apollo 13\",\"datePublished\":\"2021-09-30T13:02:25+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2021-09-30T13:06:22+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/wendirank.com\/index.php\/2021\/09\/30\/apollo-13\/\"},\"wordCount\":1430,\"commentCount\":0,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/wendirank.com\/#\/schema\/person\/81fa1f6bb0eed6ccabd60fce3c44bdfd\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/wendirank.com\/index.php\/2021\/09\/30\/apollo-13\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/wendirank.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/09\/IMG_8914-scaled.jpg\",\"keywords\":[\"Parkinson's\",\"Parkinson's disease awareness\",\"Parkinson's sucks\",\"sandwich generation\"],\"articleSection\":[\"Sandwich Generation\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/wendirank.com\/index.php\/2021\/09\/30\/apollo-13\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/wendirank.com\/index.php\/2021\/09\/30\/apollo-13\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/wendirank.com\/index.php\/2021\/09\/30\/apollo-13\/\",\"name\":\"Apollo 13 - 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