{"id":9,"date":"2021-02-21T13:48:13","date_gmt":"2021-02-21T13:48:13","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/wendirank.com\/?p=9"},"modified":"2021-03-02T17:21:26","modified_gmt":"2021-03-02T17:21:26","slug":"lets-band-together","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wendirank.com\/index.php\/2021\/02\/21\/lets-band-together\/","title":{"rendered":"Let’s Band Together"},"content":{"rendered":"

I stood in the emergency room cubicle, helping Indy<\/a> dress. It was well after one o\u2019clock in the morning. We were both exhausted. We were both relieved he was going home.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I watched Indy, noted how his Parkinson\u2019s had robbed his once-broad chest of real estate. I thought about my childhood. Indy, the solid Marine would lift me up and throw me into the waves of the Atlantic.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Those waves that are an hour from the military base whose water poisoned Indy, possibly giving him the disease that had dwindled his once robust physique.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

And I knew I could stand there and be angry. Angry for Indy, who deserves better. Angry for me, who most days is still that little girl Indy tossed in the waves. Angry for Willie, who has front row seats to a show she never wanted to see.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Or I could laugh about the rubber band.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I went the rubber band route.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Our emergency room adventure began at seven that evening. Willie called me to say Indy was having chest pain.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The pain had been fleeting, but Willie \u2013 ever the critical care nurse \u2013 had taken Indy\u2019s blood pressure, pulse, temperature, and pulse oximeter.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Yes. Willie has the capability to run all of those diagnostics from her apartment. It\u2019s basically a MASH unit. Just call her Hot Lips Houlihan.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Indy\u2019s pulse had been irregular, so Willie busted out her stethoscope. Listening to Indy\u2019s chest, she confirmed his heart was indeed falling down on the job.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI wish you\u2019d bought the Apple Watch<\/a> that can do an EKG<\/a>,\u201d Willie lamented.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

If you\u2019ve met me, you know I not only bought the Apple Watch with an EKG app but also set the heart rate monitor to alarm if Indy\u2019s heart rate goes too high or too low. Then I showed Indy and Willie how to use the EKG.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

For all the good it did me.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I talked Willie through running an EKG from an Apple Watch, an exercise I probably should have recorded and sold purely for its hilarity.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The Apple Watch confirmed Willie\u2019s concerns, although Indy\u2019s chest pain had long since passed. Still, Willie and I agreed Indy needed to go to the hospital.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Now, Willie and I have been in a months-long battle<\/a> for control of Indy. I recently told one of Indy\u2019s doctors that Indy is Chrissie Watkins<\/a> to Willie\u2019s Jaws. I, of course, am the buoy \u2013 stalwart, but unable to save Indy\/Chrissie Watkins.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Yeah, Willie knows I said that.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Throughout our battle, Willie and I have reached truces, set ground rules. She wants to be the one to take him to the hospital when the need arises.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

This works out well as I enjoy fixing everything that goes wrong when Willie takes Indy to the hospital.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

But this night there was a problem. Both Willie and Indy have recently stopped driving<\/a>, Willie just that week. I suggested Willie call either an ambulance or an Uber.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI think you should take him,\u201d Willie said, because it\u2019s fun to move the goalposts.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

So I packed up Indy and shuttled him to the hospital. His symptoms bought him a formal, hospital-grade EKG. Indy shed his coat and flannel, passing them to me. Then he handed me the vital items he\u2019d brought with him, anticipating a night or two in the hospital.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

His wallet first. Not the nice wallet I bought him for Christmas. The wallet he passed to me was a tri-fold with no credit card compartments, brimming with dozens of cards.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Next came his cell phone charger, with no cell phone I could locate.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Then came the rubber band.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I looked at the collection in my hands, a collection very reflective of Indy<\/a>. And despite my worry, despite my exhaustion, despite the small room cluttered with staff, a giggle erupted from my chest.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Why a rubber band?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I carefully tucked everything into my purse, even the rubber band. Indy\u2019s wallet slid open, depositing his cards in the bottom of my purse.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Indy and I were escorted to his little room in the emergency department, a room we would spend the next seven hours in, waiting for testing results we both knew would be normal.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Sometimes we talked, sometimes we sat in silence. Sometimes I would think about that rubber band and laugh silently, a very Indy thing. Indy is known for finding humor in weird places, and laughing uncontrollably to himself.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I eventually learned the intent of the rubber band was to hold the overflowing wallet closed, which certainly sounds easier than cleaning out your wallet and using the new wallet your loving daughter bought you for Christmas.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Indy was discharged, but forty-eight hours later he was following up with his cardiologist and family doctor.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I took Indy to the cardiologist, someone Willie refuses to see. She doesn\u2019t like Indy\u2019s cardiologist. She likes her<\/em> cardiologist.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I also took Indy to his family doctor, who is a family friend, making this a social visit. Willie tagged along for this trip.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I parked my car in what Willie told me was \u201cher\u201d spot. And here was where the argument began.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Well, \u201cargument\u201d is a strong word. Discord might be better.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

When I suggested Indy and Willie get driving evaluations<\/a>, their family doctor, this family friend, texted me I\u2019d made a good call. He told me \u2013 and Indy \u2013 that his office window overlooks Willie\u2019s parking spot. He said he\u2019d seen Willie drive. He said it wasn\u2019t pretty.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The discord, of course, is that Willie and Indy maintain their doctor doesn\u2019t have an office window overlooking Willie\u2019s parking spot.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cDo you think he\u2019s lying?\u201d I ask in disbelief, every time the subject comes up.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Willie and Indy never answer.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

As I pulled into the spot, I could see numerous windows looking down on us. I pointed them out to Indy and Willie, both of whom huffed that the windows couldn\u2019t possibly belong to their doctor.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cDo you think he\u2019s lying?\u201d I ask in disbelief once again.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Total silence.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

We crammed into the exam room, Indy, Willie, and me. As we waited, Indy took a quick glance at me, then at Willie.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cPsst,\u201d Indy hissed at Willie from the side of his mouth. \u201cPsst!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Willie didn\u2019t notice. I did.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Indy looked at me again, then at Willie. \u201cPsst!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Nothing.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHey Willie!\u201d Indy whispered.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Nothing.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cMom,\u201d I sighed, \u201cDaddy wants you.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Willie looked at Indy, who again cast a furtive glance my way. He beckoned Willie to lean in closer.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Willie obliged. Indy looked at me again, then whispered to Willie, \u201cNo windows!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

If I wanted to, I could have stretched my arms out and touched Indy and Willie at the same time; the exam room is that small. There would be no secrets here. Not that there are many secrets between me, Indy, and Willie anyway. Want to know the last time they had sex?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI can hear you guys. You know that, right? This isn\u2019t the doctor\u2019s office. This is his exam room. That\u2019s why you don\u2019t see any windows.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I presented the discord to Indy\u2019s doctor, who escorted Willie from the room.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s taking her to see his office,\u201d Indy said. I couldn\u2019t read him. Was he contrite? Defiant? Defeated?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cDoes he have windows?\u201d I asked Willie upon her return.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYes!\u201d Willie breathed. \u201cBut I looked out and do you know what? I didn\u2019t see my car! He can\u2019t be watching us park!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHe didn\u2019t see your car because you came here in my car,\u201d I reminded Willie. \u201cThat\u2019s not exactly a ringing endorsement for your driving.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Willie paused a beat before telling me to shut up.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

And I\u2019m her favorite kid. Imagine how she talks to the other ones.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Still, I understood where she was coming from. Willie\u2019s driving is like Indy\u2019s rubber band \u2013 it\u2019s holding everything together. As long as Willie can drive, she can get groceries. She can take Indy to the emergency room. She doesn\u2019t have to worry about whether her doctor\u2019s office has windows.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Now that rubber band has broken, and everything is falling apart, like Indy\u2019s many cards sliding from his wallet to the recesses of my purse. Willie can\u2019t just run to CVS \u2013 she has to ask me to stop there after the doctor\u2019s office. She can\u2019t just order her groceries \u2013 she has to coordinate with me. She can\u2019t just take Indy to the emergency room. She has to rely on me.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Do we have any rubber bands left, Indy, Willie, and I? Probably. But in true rubber band fashion, nobody sees rubber bands when they’re not looking for one. But we surely do see the mess left behind when a rubber band snaps.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Why did I tuck that rubber band so carefully into my purse? Is it because it was Indy\u2019s, and everything Indy is precious to me?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Is it because I saw some of myself in that rubber band? Did I appreciate how much we both hold things together, how much we\u2019re both stretched?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Or is it because that little rubber band made me laugh, laugh when I was angry, laugh when I was hurting, laugh even now, a week later.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Because really. Indy\u2019s emergency room supplies \u2013 phone charger, wallet, rubber band \u2013 are so random. As random as those ocean waves he once tossed me into.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

It was Indy\u2019s way of tossing me, one more time. The only way he could.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I stood in the emergency room cubicle, helping Indy dress. It was well after one o\u2019clock in the morning. We were both exhausted. We were both relieved he was going home.   I watched Indy, noted how his Parkinson\u2019s had robbed his once-broad chest of real estate. I thought about my childhood. Indy, the solid…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":13,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[5,3,6,7,4],"yoast_head":"\nLet's Band Together - Wendi Rank<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Sometimes a rubber band isn't just a rubber band.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"noindex, follow\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Let's Band Together - Wendi Rank\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Sometimes a rubber band isn't just a rubber band.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/wendirank.com\/index.php\/2021\/02\/21\/lets-band-together\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Wendi Rank\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2021-02-21T13:48:13+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2021-03-02T17:21:26+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/wendirank.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/Screen-Shot-2021-02-18-at-3.41.52-PM.png\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"874\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"978\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/png\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"wendi\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"wendi\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"9 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/wendirank.com\/index.php\/2021\/02\/21\/lets-band-together\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/wendirank.com\/index.php\/2021\/02\/21\/lets-band-together\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"wendi\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/wendirank.com\/#\/schema\/person\/81fa1f6bb0eed6ccabd60fce3c44bdfd\"},\"headline\":\"Let’s Band Together\",\"datePublished\":\"2021-02-21T13:48:13+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2021-03-02T17:21:26+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/wendirank.com\/index.php\/2021\/02\/21\/lets-band-together\/\"},\"wordCount\":1700,\"commentCount\":0,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/wendirank.com\/#\/schema\/person\/81fa1f6bb0eed6ccabd60fce3c44bdfd\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/wendirank.com\/index.php\/2021\/02\/21\/lets-band-together\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/wendirank.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/Screen-Shot-2021-02-18-at-3.41.52-PM.png\",\"keywords\":[\"Parkinson's\",\"Parkinson's disease\",\"Parkinson's disease awareness\",\"Parkinson's sucks\",\"sandwich generation\"],\"articleSection\":[\"Sandwich Generation\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/wendirank.com\/index.php\/2021\/02\/21\/lets-band-together\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/wendirank.com\/index.php\/2021\/02\/21\/lets-band-together\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/wendirank.com\/index.php\/2021\/02\/21\/lets-band-together\/\",\"name\":\"Let's Band Together - 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