I don’t know where you guys keep your fox skulls and deer vertebrae. We keep ours in the laundry room. What better place to put gross animal bits but where you keep your clean clothes, am I right? So I was surprised when the deer antlers, wrapped in plastic, just sat in the garage, week…
I usually try to alternate my tales – one week it’s Willie and Indy, the next it’s my outdoorsmen. But I’m at The Cabin and the shower and I are fighting. I need a third party who may be sympathetic. To understand our fight, you’ll want to know a bit about our relationship. We…
My stylist, Cindy, stepped back from my hair, horror and dismay on her face. Normally a beautiful shade of (chemically-enhanced) blonde, my hair lay before Cindy a garish copper blonde, fading to orange at the nape of my neck and down to the brittle, flaked ends. I know what I did. Cindy knows what…
There are a few things I haven’t told you about The Cabin. This is mostly because Don thinks these things make us sound rich. I think you probably know I can tell you all about these things while utterly failing to make us sound rich. For starters, we actually have two cabins. The…
You guys have watched as I have prepared for this moment. You’ve stood by me as I have studied. Supported me as I have prepared. And now, not only has my hard work paid off, but I am one step closer to never having cervid detritus speckle my kitchen ever again. I butchered….
Blood runs like sweat down the white beadboard of the kitchen cabinets. Our beagle is restless, sniffing the air. His nose leads him around the kitchen, a toy duck pulled by the string. Don butchered while I was out. Butchered in the kitchen. The kitchen. I was aware, before I headed out tonight,…
Teresa Bloomingdale’s I Should Have Seen It Coming When The Rabbit Died opens with that very line. In Stephen King’s Pet Semetary, Jud says, “Sometimes dead is better.” Well, I should have seen it coming when the cat died. And though it pains me to disagree with Mr. King, dead wasn’t better this…
As it turns out, watching Lake Placid two days before you leave for a lakeside vacation in Maine is a really terrible idea. I always think I will be able to keep the zebras under control. And I am always wrong. And I know I shouldn’t do such things, but when Don is on overnight call and…
There’s always about 10% of me that believes our family hikes at The Cabin are just a pretext. As we drive through rural roads, further and further from civilization, I am always mindful of every Lifetime movie ever made. The husband, tired of marriage, takes his wife to a remote locale to hasten that whole…
I stared as the goldfish swam weakly around the toilet bowl. Suddenly Don’s words, once dismissed, now surged back into my head. I was brought to the toilet bowl that fateful night because of our son. Our son, who had been on an epic run of goldfish deaths. No matter what I did, every…