I asked if I could buy Indy an Apple Watch. That’s when everything fell apart.
Willie was sick last week. I should know by now if Willie is sick, I need to pick up the slack. I really thought I was picking up the slack.
I was wrong.
I checked in on Willie and Indy the day after the debacle at the lab. First, I inquired after Willie’s well-being.
“I’m not good!” she said, which sounds alarming but really isn’t. Willie being “not good” covers everything from Alexa’s disrespect to a bad episode of the “Today” show to accidental dismemberment. I’m always fascinated to hear which direction “I’m not good!” takes me.
Willie was concerned because she could breathe. Not because she couldn’t breathe. Because she could breathe.
Historically, when Willie’s asthma acts up, her steroids take several days to ease her breathing. Last week, her breathing had eased almost as soon as she started her medication regimen. The abrupt improvement left Willie convinced she had a blood clot in her lungs.
Now, Willie has good reason to be concerned with blood clots. Since her near-death experience five years ago, Willie has been known to cultivate the occasional blood clot.
The thing is, blood clots in your lungs don’t impair your breathing then randomly get better, even with steroids.
I reminded Willie of blood clot pathology. If she’s better, it’s almost certainly an asthma exacerbation responding to the steroids.
“It’s pneumonia!” she replied.
She’s started planning her funeral. Indy’s too.
I moved onto Indy. For the last few days, Indy had been feeling better. Had this trend continued?
Although Indy was still feeling better, Willie was frustrated because he’d missed a dose of his medications the day before. This is problematic in Parkinson’s disease.
Willie usually reminds him. But Willie had been busy caring for herself.
Alexa is also supposed to remind Indy. I’m pretty sure she kept quiet out of some sort of SkyNet assassination attempt.
The worst part of this equation is me. It was medication time when I sat Indy down to eat lunch after our lab adventure. I was too busy with Terminator analogies to consider Indy’s meds.
If Indy’s three layers of protection are all going to fail him, we need a fourth layer.
I researched automated medication dispensers a few months ago. For various reasons, they didn’t suit our needs.
But….an Apple Watch. I could supervise Indy from my phone. The heart rate monitor sends an alert in the event of abnormal rates or rhythms. A fall alert system automatically calls emergency services.
Even better, there’s a Parkinson’s disease app. Not only can you track your symptoms, you can also schedule medication alerts.
Perfect.
I floated the idea past Willie. While it was a good one, Willie acknowledged, the problem is Indy. He hasn’t worn a watch in years.
Well, Indy didn’t wear a wedding ring until he retired. This was one hurdle I was confident I could overcome.
Loading up my computer and my daughter, I headed to Willie and Indy’s for a masked and socially distanced discussion of our options.
Willie agreed the Apple Watch fit the bill. And not just for Indy. She wants one too.
And that’s when her gaze settled on Indy. Indy. Who wasn’t wearing a mask.
Willie demanded to know why Indy wasn’t wearing a mask.
I pointed out if we were all wearing masks, Indy could go without.
Willie observed I would never have offered her the same defense. And she’s right. Because Indy is my favorite person ever and has never done anything wrong his whole life and I will fight anyone who says anything to the contrary. To the death.
Willie is pretty cool too. But wrong basically all the time.
My daughter, who is saving for her own Apple Watch, piped up. Her wristband is going to be rainbow. She’d like Indy’s wristband to be rainbow as well.
Indy laughed. He took a slow breath and quietly began, “I think I know what you’re trying to do…”
Willie interjected. She had a few more things to say about the Apple Watch.
Indy began again.
Willie interjected again.
Indy began again.
Yeah. Willie interjected again.
We finally got around to Indy. He liked the idea, and committed to wearing the Apple Watch. He used to wear a watch, back when he was a bus driver. But he lost it and that was the end of that.
For a minute, I thought Indy might ask me to find it. He had, after all, asked me to try to find out why his brother had a tracheostomy as a teen back in the 1940s.
But that’s not what was on Indy’s mind. Indy still has his father’s watch. It just needs a battery. Was there anything I could do with his dad’s watch vis a vis the Apple Watch?
Sure, I said. Get me the watch. I’ll see what I can do.
Willie slapped the table. “I don’t believe this!” she exclaimed. I can’t turn my grandfather’s watch into an Apple Watch, something Willie knows, and something Willie knows I know too. I would have given her an exasperated, sarcastic explanation of the improbability of such a request, had she made it.
Yep.
“Hey Alexa,” I said. “Do you like Willie?”
“I don’t know who that is,” said Alexa. Which might be good for Willie. SkyNet can’t get her if SkyNet thinks she doesn’t exist.
Today, I called Willie. I know she and Indy have several appointments. There are bad storms forecast for the afternoon. I wanted to make sure she and Indy would be done their appointments before the rain arrived.
Willie assured me everything was scheduled for the morning. We hung up. I planned my day.
Two hours later, Indy called to let me know he was home, as Willie had instructed him to do. But he’s headed back out.
This afternoon.
Things might be too far gone. Even for an Apple Watch.