So it came to be, last weekend, that I was heading to the back door of the garage when I noticed the hole. Not “a hole”. The hole. The source of the hole was easy enough to deduce. I live with a bowhunter. I also live with two fledgling bow hunters. …
I am married to an outdoorsman. On paper, being married to an outdoorsman isn’t so bad. On paper, you always have someone designated to outdoor activities an indoorsy person – like me – would rather skip. Children’s camping trips. Grilling. Walking to the pool. But the day-to-day of being married to an outdoorsman can…
The Cabin gets shut down for the winter. Sure, there’s the odd weekend between Christmas and Groundhog Day, weekends that see at least one Rank return to our heirloom estate in the woods. But for the most part, The Cabin is too cold, too remote to access in the winter. Winterizing The…
Before I begin my story, I need to get something out of the way. Mom. Stop reading. There’s information here you shouldn’t have. Just walk away. Now that that is done, I can talk to you guys. Seriously, Mom. Stop reading. I’m pretty sure I misinterpreted a conversation. I’m also…
Don and I have diverse views on many things. Take, for example, bunny rabbits. I once explored bunnies as pets for our son. Don suggested I get several to breed for meat. I did not get any bunnies. But probably the hardest thing to navigate with Don is his refusal to believe in…
As it turns out, hunter education is hard. In the online hunter ed program, I’m on unit 9. Out of 11. I registered in April. This is June. I really don’t want to hunt. For starters, a lot of hunting involves hiking through forested landscape in the dark. That’s…
I don’t know where you guys keep your fox skulls and deer vertebrae. We keep ours in the laundry room. What better place to put gross animal bits but where you keep your clean clothes, am I right? So I was surprised when the deer antlers, wrapped in plastic, just sat in the garage, week…
I usually try to alternate my tales – one week it’s Willie and Indy, the next it’s my outdoorsmen. But I’m at The Cabin and the shower and I are fighting. I need a third party who may be sympathetic. To understand our fight, you’ll want to know a bit about our relationship. We…
My stylist, Cindy, stepped back from my hair, horror and dismay on her face. Normally a beautiful shade of (chemically-enhanced) blonde, my hair lay before Cindy a garish copper blonde, fading to orange at the nape of my neck and down to the brittle, flaked ends. I know what I did. Cindy knows what…
Blood runs like sweat down the white beadboard of the kitchen cabinets. Our beagle is restless, sniffing the air. His nose leads him around the kitchen, a toy duck pulled by the string. Don butchered while I was out. Butchered in the kitchen. The kitchen. I was aware, before I headed out tonight,…