There’s no easy way to say this. I hate my garage. I mean, sure. I don’t like the shed much. Once I found the spider eggs growing on my ski bag, I was pretty much done. But I don’t keep anything in the shed anymore. Grow spiders on my skis and our…
Month: March 2021
Heart To Heart
You know, I thought once Indy finished his weekly speech appointments, I’d have nothing to tell you. But as long as Willie lives, I’ll have stories. Stories upon stories upon stories. I spent two weeks with Indy and Willie, two weeks where they circled me like the velociraptors in Jurassic Park, taking a…
Five Alarm
Usually, it’s Willie who messes up. Sometimes, it’s Don. This time, it was me. I know, I know. I’m usually perfect. I’m sorry to disappoint you guys. My downfall began Friday. I was coaching my Parkinson’s boxers when the text flashed across my phone. One of our smoke detectors was…
Wild Child
Before anything else, we really need to talk about The Cabin. I am going to be dirty and honest with you about The Cabin. I think it’s time. When a boy you’re dating tells you his grandfather has a cabin, you think he’s trying to impress you. Or, in my case, you wonder…
The Videotape Incident
We can talk about The Videotape Incident. Before we begin, let me say that Don and I are soul mates. He is the Hart to my Hart. The Han to my Leia. The Dylan to my Kelly. Well, he’s really more of a Brandon, but I always liked Kelly with Dylan better. Besides, Brandon…
The Other Woman
I was putting away Christmas decorations when I discovered the maggot-covered skull cap and antlers from Don’s autumn buck. Laying right there in the garage. Like they owned the place. How do maggots get into – and out of – a sealed plastic bag? They were just everywhere. Don, a little chagrined at…
The Cold Shoulder Roast
So it came to be, last weekend, that I was heading to the back door of the garage when I noticed the hole. Not “a hole”. The hole. The source of the hole was easy enough to deduce. I live with a bowhunter. I also live with two fledgling bow hunters. …
Robin Hood
I live with three bowhunters. For bowhunters, the quality of their bow and arrows and associated supplies is paramount. Consequently, there is an archery store favored by the hunters in my house. I kid you not – there is more than one place to purchase archery supplies. One day over the winter,…
Rack Hunter
I am married to an outdoorsman. On paper, being married to an outdoorsman isn’t so bad. On paper, you always have someone designated to outdoor activities an indoorsy person – like me – would rather skip. Children’s camping trips. Grilling. Walking to the pool. But the day-to-day of being married to an outdoorsman can…
Playing Ketchup
The Cabin gets shut down for the winter. Sure, there’s the odd weekend between Christmas and Groundhog Day, weekends that see at least one Rank return to our heirloom estate in the woods. But for the most part, The Cabin is too cold, too remote to access in the winter. Winterizing The…